you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
