I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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