Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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