You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize