They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
