They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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