there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
