Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
