she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize