Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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