My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize