is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
