i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
