i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
