that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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