You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize