They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
