Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
