Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
