Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize