So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
porn star boner night. come get it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
