In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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