What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
