It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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