New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
