I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
