So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
