We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
