Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
