I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize