The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
