i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
