Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
