dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
