I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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