We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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