my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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