Please, let me fuck your mom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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