I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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