Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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