I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize