Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
