were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
