I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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