you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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