nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
