no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize