Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
