I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
