The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
