I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
