im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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