Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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