how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
