So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
