guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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