Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
