she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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