Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
