Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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