so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize