what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I supernannyed him into submission
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
